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Communication Basics

The foundation of effective human interaction.

The Communication Stack

Think of communication as layers:

┌─────────────────────────────┐
│   Intent & Goals            │  What you want to achieve
├─────────────────────────────┤
│   Content & Meaning         │  What you want to say
├─────────────────────────────┤
│   Words & Structure         │  How you say it
├─────────────────────────────┤
│   Tone & Delivery           │  Vocal qualities
├─────────────────────────────┤
│   Body Language             │  Non-verbal signals
└─────────────────────────────┘

All layers must align for clear communication.

Verbal Communication

Clarity Principles

  1. Be specific
  2. ❌ "I need this soon"

  3. ✅ "I need this by Friday at 5 PM"

  4. Use simple language

  5. ❌ "We should synergize our paradigms"

  6. ✅ "Let's work together on this"

  7. Provide context

  8. ❌ "Did you finish it?"

  9. ✅ "Did you finish the report we discussed Monday?"

  10. Check understanding

  11. ❌ Assume they got it
  12. ✅ "Does that make sense?" or "What questions do you have?"

Common Pitfalls

Vagueness

Problem: "Let's meet up sometime"

Why it fails: No commitment, hard to act on

Better: "Are you free for coffee Tuesday at 3 PM?"

Assumptions

Problem: Using jargon or references others don't know

Why it fails: Creates confusion, excludes people

Better: Explain terms or check if they're familiar

Information Overload

Problem: Dumping too much information at once

Why it fails: Overwhelms listener, key points get lost

Better: Break into chunks, prioritize key points

Conversation Structure

Opening

Start conversations with:

  1. Greeting: "Hi!" / "Hello" / "Hey there"
  2. Acknowledge context: "Thanks for meeting" / "Good to see you"
  3. Signal intent: "I wanted to talk about..." / "Quick question about..."

Example

"Hey Sarah! Thanks for taking the time to meet. I wanted to get your input on the project timeline."

Middle

Maintain conversation through:

  1. Taking turns: Speak, then let others speak
  2. Building on topics: Connect to what was just said
  3. Asking questions: Show interest, keep it flowing
  4. Sharing relevant info: Contribute meaningfully

Closing

End conversations gracefully:

  1. Summarize: "So we're agreed on..."
  2. Set next steps: "I'll send you that email"
  3. Express appreciation: "Thanks for your time"
  4. Proper goodbye: "See you later" / "Have a good day"

Example

"Okay, so I'll revise the timeline and send it to you by Wednesday. Thanks for the feedback—this was really helpful. Talk to you soon!"

Question Types

Closed Questions

Structure: Questions with yes/no or specific answers

Use for: Getting specific information

Examples: - "Did you finish the report?" - "What time does it start?" - "Is this the right address?"

Open Questions

Structure: Questions requiring explanation

Use for: Encouraging discussion, understanding perspective

Examples: - "How did that go?" - "What do you think about this approach?" - "Tell me about your experience with..."

Strategic Question Use

Closed → Specific info
Open → Deep conversation
Follow-up → Show you're listening
Clarifying → Ensure understanding

Balance

  • Too many closed questions = Interrogation
  • Too many open questions = Unfocused rambling
  • Mix both types naturally

Response Types

Acknowledgment

Show you heard them: - "I see" - "Mm-hmm" - "Got it" - "That makes sense"

Validation

Show you understand their perspective: - "That must be frustrating" - "I can see why you'd think that" - "That's a valid concern"

Building

Add to what they said: - "And along those lines..." - "That reminds me..." - "Related to that..."

Questioning

Dig deeper: - "Can you tell me more about..." - "What did you mean by..." - "How did that work?"

Disagreement

Express different views carefully: - "I see it a bit differently..." - "My experience has been..." - "Have you considered..."

Disagreement Pitfalls

Avoid: - "You're wrong" - "That's stupid" - "Actually..." (often comes across as condescending)

Instead: - Acknowledge their point first - Express your view as alternative - Focus on ideas, not the person

Volume and Pacing

Volume

Too quiet: - Signals uncertainty or fear - Makes others strain to hear - Can be ignored

Too loud: - Signals aggression or insensitivity - Makes others uncomfortable - Dominates space

Appropriate: - Match environment (louder at parties, quieter in libraries) - Ensure you're heard comfortably - Adjust based on feedback

Pacing

Too fast: - Hard to understand - Seems nervous or manic - Doesn't let others process

Too slow: - Seems condescending or uncertain - Loses listener attention - Wastes time

Appropriate: - Varied pace (faster when excited, slower for complex ideas) - Pauses between thoughts - Watch for comprehension

The Pause

Strategic pauses:

  • After asking questions (let them think)
  • Before important points (build anticipation)
  • After making a point (let it land)
  • When you need to think (it's okay to pause!)

Written Communication

Email Basics

Structure: 

Subject: Clear, specific topic

Greeting: Hi [Name],

Context: Brief reminder of situation

Main point: What you need/want

Details: Supporting information

Action: What happens next / what you need from them

Closing: Thanks, [Your name]

Text Messages

Best practices: - Respond within reasonable time (hours, not days) - Match their energy/length roughly - Be clear about urgent vs. non-urgent - Use proper tone indicators (emoji, punctuation)

Text Pitfalls

  • Tone is easily misread
  • Lack of emoji can seem cold
  • Too many emoji can seem unprofessional
  • ALL CAPS looks like shouting
  • No punctuation can seem careless

Tone Indicators

When text might be ambiguous: - Use emoji: 😊 😂 🤔 - Add explicit markers: "(joking!)" or "(serious question)" - Be more explicit than in person

Metacommunication

Talking about the communication itself:

  • "I'm not explaining this well, let me try again"
  • "I might be misunderstanding you—can you clarify?"
  • "I think we're talking past each other"
  • "This feels like a sensitive topic"

Metacommunication Is Powerful

When communication breaks down, TALK ABOUT IT rather than continuing to struggle.

Practice Exercises

Exercise 1: Clarity Check

Take a vague statement and make it specific: - Vague: "We should get together soon" - Specific: ?

Exercise 2: Question Balance

In your next conversation, count: - Open questions: ___ - Closed questions: ___ - Aim for roughly 50/50

Exercise 3: Structure Practice

Plan a conversation: - Opening: ___ - Main points (3): , , ___ - Closing: ___

Exercise 4: Active Listening Response

When someone shares something, practice all five response types in order

Next: Active Listening - Learn to truly hear what others are saying